BATTLE-SCARRED BUT STANDING IN VICTORY!

(Leigh-Ann ‘Abigail’ Evans)

“Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.” (Phil 3:12)

In the most recent module I’ve been studying in my Charis Bible College curriculum, the topic was on the Fundamentals of Faith. Little did I know that this module would not only consist of a written exam, but there would be a practical exam too (not assigned by Charis, but by the spiritual realm)!

In my personal devotional time with God spent first thing in the morning, before online studies begin, God started showing me some revelations around my body being His holy temple (see 1Corinthians 6:19) He showed me that the Tabernacle that the Israelites carried around with them in the wilderness was a ‘good’ dwelling place of God (made from quality materials according to a divine blueprint given to Moses), yet it had to be set outside of the Israelites’ camp because God could not dwell among sinful people & it wasn’t a permanent dwelling place as the Israelites were often on the move. The Temple became a ‘better’ dwelling place for God (made from even better, more precious materials & divinely inspired by God to David & then built by his son, Solomon). Yet there was still a separation that existed between God & His people. God’s ‘BEST’ dwelling place became our very own bodies that would carry the Holy Spirit with them always, with no separation (“Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him.” [John 14:23])

We are told in the parable of the Sower (Luke 8) that the devil will come to try to steal the message from your heart once the seed is sown, depending on the condition of your heart. I was receiving an important revelation & the devil did not want it penetrating the fertile soil of my hungry heart, so a battle was waged. Early one Friday morning during this time, the Holy Spirit led me to read Psalm 74. I had no idea what the Psalm was about, only to find it was about the desecration & total destruction of God’s temple. I could feel a holy anger rise within my spirit, allowing me to experience a tiny bit of how this had hurt the Father’s heart. Little did I know at the time that it was a divine warning. Later that day, the enemy invaded the Lord’s temple once again – flu symptoms started to attack my body (His TEMPLE!) I felt the anger rise again & resisted the devil & this attack, yet it raged harder. It has been almost 4 years since I had been this sick. I had certainly had a few symptoms & challenges show up during this time, but they never stuck around for very long. I was using the faith I had built to resist the enemy quite successfully. This was different. I got sicker & sicker. My faith started to shake & I couldn’t connect with God as my brain turned to survival mode. As I cried out to God, asking Him to at least hear the prayers of those interceding for me, I heard a whisper in my spirit, “Lambano”. I knew that word, I had studied it before. I quickly looked it up & it’s the Greek word meaning, “to take, to receive, to obtain, to seize, to lay hold of, to assume”. I couldn’t understand why I was getting sicker when I believed that my healing was provided by Jesus at the cross. Jesus was telling me that I couldn’t “receive (lambano)” His healing due to limiting beliefs.

Jesus tells us in Luke 6:45, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” I started to listen to my words. They showed me something important…. I had some limiting beliefs tucked away in my heart still. God gently showed me how I was not considering Him my SOURCE of healing, I was seeing Him as a contingency plan because I could no longer go to my primary source anymore (the medical profession). I had gone through some severe trauma caused by doctors & medicine almost 4 years ago & I thought I had forgiven them, yet bitterness & unforgiveness had left an ugly scar. Fear of man (doctors) was still at play & Proverbs 29:25 tells us, “The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe.” 

I quickly repented of this. I truly believed I had gotten past this & had established my heart on the truth, but this shaking of my faith revealed the hidden parts of my heart that had also been hidden from me. I decided to stop listening to my own thoughts, move away from my pity party & I put on a random bible teaching that came up on Facebook. One of the first words out of the mouth of the teacher was “Lambano”, just like I had heard God speak to me. God was talking to me about HOW TO RECEIVE! A second teaching I listened to the following morning also had a different teacher explain the word “Lambano” (my second confirmation). I was getting excited, even with the tissues piling up all around me & the number of immune-support bottles steadily growing on my nightstand. Jesus was healing my heart first. Spiritual healing is that way, it comes from the inside & moves outwards. If my heart is healed, my body will follow! I was no longer afraid, frustrated & confused. I could finally settle down & rest in the shalom of God (“You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You” [Is 26:3]). “Shalom”= peace, completeness, well-being, safety, prosperity, good health”

I scored 100% on my written exam for the Charis module.  The practical exam, however, left some battle scars, yet I have claimed some spoils of war from this:

• Confirmation that God is communicating with me 
• Confirmation that I am a threat to the enemy (otherwise he wouldn’t have waged this battle)
• Confirmation that I’m already victorious, not because I have won the battle, but because I can REST in the One who has won it for me
• A deeper revelation that it is NEVER God who places sickness on a person to teach them something (His Word & Holy Spirit teaches us the truth)
• A testimony that will bless & impact people struggling with similar battles (“And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death.” [Rev 12:11])
• A natural boost of immunity
• A battle strategy & equipping for the next time a battle is waged by the devil

The word “Lay hold of” in the Phil 3:12 verse quoted in the beginning is “katalambano” = seize, grasp, comprehend, make one’s own”. I hope my testimony will help many grasp this truth & make it their own!